Grocery Store Trip

These aren’t the only things I will eat this week, and some things may take me months to finish. However, I thought it would be good to share with you guys a little bit of how I grocery shop and what kinds of things I keep around. Notice: lots of raw things, less pre-packaged stuff… ūüôā

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Finding Real Comfort in Food

Up until just a few months ago, for most of my life, food has been my security blanket. Whenever I had a rough day, an interaction that left me feeling insecure, or my depression began to enclose on me again, I knew exactly how french fries and a cheeseburger would make me feel. I knew they wouldn’t reject me, they’d make me feel the same way they always did, and I could enjoy them for about ten minutes. Ten minutes of comfort. Ten minutes of easing the pain of being tormented by depression and insecurity. Ten minutes of feeling “happy”.

For a brief moment, I felt good.

But all of those brief moments of good tasting mac-n-cheese, mashed potatoes, garlic bread, and pizza left me feeling empty inside. When my plate was clean and the dishes were done, I was still insecure. I was still depressed. I was still ashamed of my body.

And each time I ate a curly fry dipped in Arby’s sauce, I gained a little more on my waist, and lost a little more confidence in who I was.

Why couldn’t I control my weight? Why couldn’t I have controlled what I had ate three months ago, so I look different today? Why was the person in the mirror so much different than who I thought I was?

To be fair, I didn’t eat fast food or carbs all of the time. I did not seek comfort in every single meal.¬†Primarily, I ate pretty good. I ate a standard “food pyramid” American diet with the occasional fast food.¬† But I did eat impulsively sometimes. And sometimes I’d stretch those ten minutes of feeling good into twenty minutes by getting a second helping of a meal. Part of this was biological; when we eat a few carbs, our body starts wanting more, so we eat more. The other part of this was psychological. We feel good when we eat carbs, so we want more.

So, week after week, I lost the food battle. The weeks turned into months, and the months turned into years. And after I had lost enough battles, I became overwhelmed with the feeling of defeat. That feeling of defeat controlled me. It became a part of who I was. Most of the time, I hung my head down in shame. I avoided pictures with my family. I avoided mirrors. I avoided people, because I didn’t want them to see me like this.And the extra weight that stuck to my body stood as a testament to my lack of self-control and my battles lost.

And so the cycle would continue. I’d eat to numb that pain. I’d eat to feel in control. As if I were telling myself,¬†This isn’t something that is happening to you, it’s something we are choosing. It’s ok to be a little “thick”.¬†I’d eat for that ten minutes of feeling “happy” again.

Then, I started Keto. For those of you that are already ketoers, you probably know the feeling of eating just for the sake of getting your body some nutrients. Eating keto usually means eating a lot of the same foods over and over. After about two months of keto, your body starts to stop craving carbs all the time. I thank God that I had the discipline to keep it together for those two months, to get those cravings out of my body!

It wasn’t until recently that I realized I’d been winning the battle, though. While at multiple Christmas dinners this year, I realized my plate was not as full as it was in previous Christmases. I did not make excessive trips back to the food to fill my plate again. I did not feel overly stuffed or uncomfortable with the foods I ate.

In fact, over Thanksgiving, I lost a pound. And over Christmas, I maintained my weight.

That is what real comfort food, my friends.

Food that makes you feel comfortable in your own body. Food that helps you exude confidence, rather than defeat.

Food that’s “good feeling” lasts longer than the ten minutes you are tasting it, you have that good feeling every time you look in a mirror. Food that gives you fuel to be the person that you know you are.¬†Food that doesn’t make you feel guilty or fuel your depression.

Real comfort food isn’t about what makes you feel good for a fleeting ten minutes. Comfort food is about fueling your body so you can be confident in who you are.

And this is why I won’t go back to the other lifestyle. Its about more than what is on my plate. I don’t want to go back to hanging my head in shame. I want to continue to be happy with who I am. I want the food I eat to reflect who I want to become.

I broke the cycle. I’ve won the battle. It’s about keeping it that way now.

A long overdue update

Ok, before this post starts, I probably should apologize for the lack of postings lately. It is not because I have fallen off the keto wagon, but because the holidays are extremely busy. My husband and I have to travel a lot for the holidays. Additionally, I had to pick up more than a few extra shifts at work to help my co-workers get some time off.

I also feel really guilty that I haven’t finished my “one week of keto” posts yet, but that will get done this weekend.

An update on how I’ve been doing. I’m down to 145 pounds now. That’s 28 pounds down!

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This is me at about 100 days of Keto. I’d dropped about 26 pounds at this point. I’m also rocking my new Doctor Who gear my hubby got be for Christmas. I never imagined being able to fit into a size Medium. Especially while I was in the 140 range. I think that I’m putting on a lot more muscle.

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For Comparison…
(The pictures are all taken within a week or so of the date it’s listed at)

Right now, I am holding strong at 145. I kept my diet over Thanksgiving and Christmas! My family has been really supportive of this lifestyle change and have even inquired about it themselves. My sister and mom began the keto journey this last week. Every time there was a family gathering, my family made sure there was food I could eat there!

So, in case you were curious, I am still ketoing on. It’s just been difficult to take the time to write down what’s been going on.

A Week in the Life of a Keto Girl

I’ve been slacking at a few things. One of which is more consistent blogging. Another is working out. Last week I was sick and allowed myself to take way too many days off of working out.

I’ve also had a lot of questions about Keto life that I’m sure a lot of people have.

In an attempt to become more consistent in doing the things I feel I need to do, I’m going to track my week via my blog. Hopefully that will help me have some accountability to get my butt to the gym, to share about my journey on keto, and to answer a lot of your questions.

We shall see how this goes. I’ll also put this in it’s own category “One Week of Keto” and tag it as such, too.

New Lowest Weight (in this decade)

I’m not sure when the last time I was 152 was. When I started a low carb diet in high school I was at 155. I lost 20 pounds then, maybe a little more. Then my freshman year I stopped working out and started eating more pizza and before you knew it I was at 155 again. For most of the last 5 years, other than one year where I was “content” in the 170 range, I’ve lived at around 155-165. So when I stalled in that 155-158 range for the last month, I was disappointed.

This week I buckled down. Not that I wasn’t committed before, but I think I may have gotten a little too lax with artificial sweeteners. I made some FAT BOMBS¬† which are primarily coconut oil and natural peanut butter. (Side note: Coconut oil is excellent for you!¬†Studies have shown that people that incorporate coconut oil in their diet lose more fat than people that ate similarly but without¬†coconut oil in their diet.)

Apparently, my hard work paid off. I woke up at 152.0! My body fat percent went down a little, too. This means I’ve lost 21 pounds on the scale!!! I’ve lost 26 pounds of fat and put on 5 pounds of muscle). My plateau in the mid 150’s is over. Before I know it, I will be swimming in the 140’s and wearing my favorite size 8 Levi jeans.

This is a picture of how much FAT I’ve lost!

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A Sunday Summary

This week was a roller coaster for me.

I started out depressed about not seeing progress on the scale. Then I started a 60 hour workweek which was completed in 4 days. At work on Monday, one of my co-workers, a 70 year old health guru, mentioned that he thought I was losing weight. On the same day, I tightened another notch on my belt.

I didn’t get as many workouts this week as I would have liked. Even though I woke up one morning at 4:00 am to make sure I got my 1.5 mile run in. I ate lots of summer sausage, cheese, celery, and homemade peanut butter.

Later in the week, the scale did move downwards, two pounds.¬†And then yesterday, I got my scale and found out that I’ve dropped 20 pounds of fat.

I did work out both Saturday and Sunday. I missed my workouts through the week, though. Just jogging a few miles was tough today. Glad I got back on the bandwagon now and not next week.

This has been a mentally and physically exhausting week. I can’t say that I’m ready to go back to work tomorrow, but I am looking forward to only working 40 hours. This should free up another 20 hours for rest and working out.

I’m super tired from my work-out today, and I’m heading to bed early, at 6:20 pm. It’s been a long week and I have work at 6:00 am.

It’s Not Just Water Weight

As I have said before, I have been perpetually doing low-carb diets for most of the last ten years. One thing I’ve always been frustrated with is the acceptance of my lifestyle choices by others. This probably stems from my incessant need to feel approved by others, and since I’ve worked through a lot of those issues, I believe I will be able to stick to this diet long after I’ve reached my goal weight. That being said, it’s still a pain to constantly be faced with adversity when you know what you are doing is right.

One of the things people have often said to me when I’ve told them how much weight I’ve lost on a low-carbohydrate diet is, “Oh, you’re just losing water weight, that isn’t real weight loss.” There are few things more discouraging that you could tell a person who is trying to make themself healthier.

Today I got my scale in that reads body fat percentage as well as muscle mass and water weight, and I was in for a shock! Now, I did’t have an exact starting percentage, but through some calculators based on my original height, weight and waist size, I was somewhere between 39 and 41% fat. YUCK! This meant that right at 70 pounds of my original body weight was fat.

Today, six weeks and two days later, I am down to 32% of body fat. This means, today, only 50 pounds of my body is fat!

By these calculations, I have lost 20 pounds of fat.

That isn’t water weight, people. It is likely that I have gained muscle and water weight because according to the scale, I’ve only lost 16 pounds. I’ve gained 4 pounds of something!

If you are doing Keto, I urge you to stop just¬†checking your weight in pounds or kilograms, and start tracking what percent of fat you’ve lost as well.

And for all the Keto Haters, there is no denying the facts. I’m burning through fat, using it as energy instead of glucose. I’ve turned my body into a fat burning (probably muscle building) machine.

Keep Calm and Keto On!